The Turkish Bath

So, I’m in Turkey.  What could be more appropriate than a Turkish bath?  I was actually pretty excited about it!  Greg babysat the kids and I put on my big girl pants and ventured alone to the mixed (meaning men and women in the same room) Turkish bathhouse called a Haram.  For some reason I assumed the people working in the bath and giving the baths would be women.  Yes, I know what happens when you assume, and I walked in to an all-male staffed haram. 

I was handed a towel that fit under my arms and reached about mid- thigh, then was ushered to a changing room.  The room had a curtain that was too small to fit across the door and windows cut out of each side low enough to where I could see the man’s head as he was folding towels outside my room.  Ok, I thought, perhaps he was just a “bodyguard” type and the women were inside doing the washing.  I take a deep breath and walk through the metal doors into a very large hot room.  Along the back wall were some stations with sinks and water, along the side walls were showers, the front wall had two marble tables, and the center was a large circle of marble.  A man stopped me at the door and poured 2 bowls of hot water on my head, then told me to lay down on the center circle.  I slowly scanned the room as I made my way to the circle and found a few men in the shower stalls and 3 men lying on the center circle.  It was at this time I became very aware of my self-conscious self and began praying a woman would show up to perform this bath thing.  It was also at this time, I was very happy I had not gone topless like the pamphlet told me I should and I began seriously second guessing my decision. 

I lay down on the stone and it really felt wonderful.  The room was full of hot steam and the stone was hot as well.  I closed my eyes and focused on how good it felt on my sore back and did a good job of forgetting what was going on around me.  The next thing I know, a hairy man wearing a short towel around his waist told me it was my turn.  He led me to one of the marble tables by the door, took my towel away, and told me to lay down.  I did as I was told and he poured warm water on me and began scrubbing my body with a rough mitt he wore on his hand.  It was uncomfortable.  I mean, the scrubbing felt ok, but I wasn’t really cool with this half naked man doing the scrubbing.  Call me a prune, but that’s just not my thing.

When the scrubbing was complete another man with a towel around his waist led me to the other marble table in the front of the room.  There he covered me with soapy bubbles and proceeded to wash, then a quick massage.  He spoke English and was asking where I was from and what hotel I was staying at.  I was pretty sure that was information he didn’t need to know. I told him I didn’t remember the name of the hotel, and then he asked how many people were staying with me.  Again, none of his business, but I told him my giant mean husband and two kids who like to bite.  Ok, I left off the giant, mean, and biting part, but I should have really told him that.  He told me I was very young, and began trying to figure out my age assuming I got married when I was 15, and since I only had 2 children.  Over and over he repeated, “You are very young.”  Maybe this bath thing wasn’t a bad idea after all! 

After a quick rinse in the shower, I lay back on the hot center stone for a few minutes and then left through the metal doors.  I was asked to sit on a stool and the original man who greeted me at the door wrapped a towel around my shoulders and one on my head.  He told me the price for the bath, but for a little extra I could go upstairs and get a hot oil massage.  I told him I was NOT interested in the massage and he responded with a squeeze to my shoulders and telling me he gave a really good massage.  What in this world had I gotten myself into?!  I couldn’t get out of that place quick enough.  I gave them all the money I had then bolted for the door, and practically ran back to the hotel. 

I’m sure some people would have no problem with the situation, but I will not be a return customer.  The good part was my skin was nice and soft afterwards and in the end; it gave me something to blog about!